Portal Vein Thrombosis (blood clot)

This blood clot that they found had been in my body a long time. How long? We don't know. We know its been there a long time b/c my body has since then developed a whole new venous system around it and throughout my liver and esophagus to take care of myself. (isn't the body amazing!!!!!!!!!) The body made all new vessels around this blood clot to get the blood it needed. Most clots are caused by 1.Liver disease or failure (I had a biopsy while in the hospital of my liver and it turned out fine (thank goodness) 2. Cancer (no cancer has been found yet) 3. Blood clotting disorder 4. Trauma= Pregnancy

After being release in the hospital I have undergone Upper Endoscopy that found my "new" veins in my esophagus to be sooooo big, they are like vericose veins and my Dr. told me that I have a 50% greater chance of hemmorhaging within one year. I must remain close to the hospital in case I start to bleed. We did a procedure that next Monday to wrap rubber bands around my veins to try to prevent them from bursting, and I will have it done again in 2 weeks.

I also have to have surgery, what kind, we don't know. I am going to U of M tomorrow to meet with a liver transplant/hepatobiliary reconstruction physician for advice. I must have something done soon b/c I could die. If these veins in my throat decide to start bleeding, I am now on blood thinners, so it could be the last time b/c they might not get them to stop.

Hope this explains my life for the past 14 months. I knew something was not right, but I couldn't get anyone to listen. Could this have been prevented? Why didn't that hematologist do something? Now I have to pay the consequences and am sitting wondering if I will see a new tomorrow.......The prayer I say at night with my daughter has taken on a WHOLE new meaning "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, if I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my sould to take." AMEN!

Abdominal Ascites (free-fluid)

After scanning myself again, I noticed a drastic change and decided to show a radiologist that I work with. He talked to me, asked me questions, and told me that he was going to call my Dr. in the morning and ask him to get to the bottom of this b/c something was seriously wrong. He didn't want to scare me but it could be Colon cancer, Ovarian, but something was very wrong and he was going to make sure that they didn't ignore me anymore. I developed Ascites, (free abdominal fluid) for some unknown reason to me. That was until my Dr. finally ordered me a real CT and we found a Portal Vein Blood Clot.

Splenomegaly

So let me explain myself. When I was pregnant with Luke I had some minor "blood" issues, with my platelets. Almost couldn't get an epidural (glad that changed). Delivered, and off they sent me. Well, 5 weeks post partum my stomach was still huge so they took xrays which reviled kidney stones, nothing else. So when I returned to work after maternity leave, I decided I wanted to see how many stones I had and I scanned myself. ( I love my job!) Yes I had alot of stones and that is when my great partner noticed how LARGE my spleen was. That got us thinking..... I went to my family Dr. with my findings of my spleen, he did some blood work, got me an Ultrasound, sent me to a Cancer and hematologist and that man told me that he is No spleen Dr., that most people sitting in his office KNOW they have cancer and are not there for him to figure out. Give it 6 months post partum and everything will return to normal. Well it didnt. I had issues with alot of weird things. Got me a new primary Dr. He ordered more labs....Then I became Anemic. Still no biggy to everyone but me. I even made a "fake" Dr.'s appointment about acne to talk to him SERIOUSLY. I told him, I don't want to diagnose myself with some disease but is it possible we could be missing something here? "no. I just think this is your year for things to happen."

That was until a month ago when I started having abdomen pain and I decided to scan myself AGAIN.

Small Bowel Capsule Endoscopy

Here I am! Man this stinks! For some reason this picture isn't working, I will have to fix it later. Sorry.

So I swallowed this camera today. It was really weird. I couldn't eat anything but jello yesterday and today after swallowing the camera, I couldn't eat until 1 pm and that was only soup, Nothing else all day or morning, not even my morning coffee! Man I hate not eating. Isn't it amazing how far technology and medicine has come! That you can swallow a camera and it can videotape you internally? That is crazy! I arrived at 8am to swallow the camera and get hooked up to leads and a monitor that would send an electrical signal to the monitor and record the images. I had to wear it all day and I returned the monitor at 4:30. They only have an 8 hour battery life. No I do not have to return the camera! :) Who knows when that will come out! It is big! I am sure there are some people out there that couldn't do it.

So I have reached a breaking point. Mentally. My mom told me today that I need prozac. Thanks mom. I would like to see how other people would feel after a month of injections 2xs a day, beta blockers that make me feel like crap, give me diahrea, headaches, dr.'s appointments every week, blood work every week, tests, not eating for days for your tests.....Yes, I will admit I am crabby.

I am sick of it. Yesterday I went to see my hematologist and was very excited to see what he had to say. Steve took time off work and the Dr. walks in and says, "so, you were here a year ago, what can I help you with?" Start telling him why I was there a year ago, that no one would listen to me, blood levels dropped, I became anemic, then hospitalized...."oh, I don't have any record of any of that, I guess a lot has changed, how have you been feeling?" Luckily I came with my OWN records, my OWN reports...and could show him. "oh, you have liver disease." No I do not. I had a biopsy done that confirmed no disease or failure, my liver is functioning fine. "well do you know what labs were done on you? Did they look for this strain, this....?" (how the heck am I supposed to know!!!!!)"Well, lets see what U of M says, do some blood work and I will talk to you on the phone next week." Out the door I went.

My husband knew I wanted to kill the man and quite frankly wanted to kill him himself. I was pissed. He knew nothing about me.

I can understand why my patients are frustrated with healthcare at times....This whole experience is teaching me sooooooo much. The Lord has it all happen for a reason, am I can promise you this, I will be so much stronger, more sympathetic, loving, to my patients b/c I can relate!

Today I can only eat jello and I am trying to get my mind off food. Tomorrow I swallow a camera, and can't eat all day, Yippe!:) Lord, please hold my hand today, I need you. Amen.

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Sometimes I look at my little Lukester and wonder if he will ever know all that I have gone through after bringing his precious life into this world. Not that it was his fault, but I don't think many women out there honestly think about all of the things that could and can go wrong during delivery. I definitely know that my Dr.'s should have taken my children by C-section. My body was not made to deliver babies. I LOVED being pregnant but when it came to deliver for Luke I was petrified. I remember crying on several occasions sitting in the Dr's office b/c I was so traumatized by the delivery of Karlie and feared going through it again or having something bad happen agian. Shoot, after only 45 minutes of pushing this time I thought it was a breeze....Little did I know that I wouldn't be walking for 2 weeks due to a seperated Pelvis and broken tailbone, and that my abdominal muscles were so ripped apart that anyone could put their fists inbetween them and that I would still be dealing with traumatic health issues over one year later! OH what children do to some mothers bodies. I unfortunately wasn't one of the blessed. But just looking into those blue eyes full of wonder, I couldn't imagine life without him. He is my little buddy. He has filled the empty space in my heart that I never even knew was missing until my Luke!

Today I had my 2nd MRI for my Gallbladder and Pancrease. On Tuesday I get to meet my Hematologist (finally! and hopefully some answers to the "why" this happened) and on Friday I head off to U of M to meet my surgeon and discuss what I need to do now to take care of "what" has happened. I am scared. I am relived so far to know that I don't have cancer, but I am still not in the clear. The reasons why: 1. Liver failure (which I don't have) 2. Cancer 3. Trauma to the body=Pregnancy........In the weeks ahead I think we will be finding out the answer.

Tonight, I thank the Lord for my 2 beautiful children that mean the world to me. I was told and thought I never would have children....and just look at them today! Dr's I showed you wrong!!! They are my miracles from the good Lord above. He has blessed me in so many ways and I can't imagine my life without them. I thank God all the time for blessing me with the ability to have children and the chance of re-living life through their eyes. I just wish I could freeze time and hold them in my arms forever, their so sweet, innocent, small, and they Love me! I love you Karlie, and I love you Luke!

What a change in life. I decided to go back to my blog b/c I feel that this will be good for me. That way I can talk and let out my feelings. I cannot believe what has happened to me in 3 weeks. I have been totally sedated on 4 occasions for different procedures, and I am beginning to realize why some of my patients aren't always so shall we say "pleasant". The medical system can be very frustrating and its never a fun experience when you are the patient no matter how friendly the staff. I think the Lord has given me a whole new perception on how to treat and care for my future patients. I have come to realize that the Lord DEFINITELY placed me in my career and he did it for sooooo many reasons b/c he can use me. I can be there for my patients and I can love them the way the Lord loves all of us.

Do I go back to work tomorrow or not? I don't honestly know. I am pretty stuborn when it comes to this kind of decision and tell myself I will be fine but honestly, I have my doubts this time. I am soooo tired, I have a head/sinus/ear cold on top of all thats going on. My troats feels hurts and I have major heartburn from my procedure on monday. Well, the kids need me, so maybe I will have time to write agian later.

Life is wonderful being a mother of 2!! I love being a mom so much. Luke is an awesome little guy, he is moms buddy and I am enjoying him so much. Being a mom is so much more fun the 2nd time b/c you actually learn how to enjoy the moments and you realize that it is over so quickly. They are only small for such a short time and then I will never have these days back again. Children are the greatest blessing and I thank the Lord every day for my amazing children.

The Jongsma Grandkids: Dylan, Karlie, Alexis, Luke and Jackson DeHoop. All of them are 4 and under. It was quite a challenge to photo them but it was fun.

So far life isn't much different with a boy. I have to say the "little" guy quickly entered moms heart. He's moms little buddy and I know I am going to love having one of both. He's already showing signs of being a momma's boy, he's starting to show some stranger anxiety and wanting his momma. :)

Luke 5 weeks today

Well, Luke is 5 weeks this week and he is already 11pds. He is doing very well, and for the most part is a very good baby. At night we have our moments, but what baby doesn't.

Karlie absolutely loves her baby brother and talks to him, signs to him, and gets very excited when he is awake and looking at her. We are all still trying to adjust to life as a family of 4. The days FLY by, we have our days that NOTHING gets accomplished, but we are enjoying the time mom is home.

Our amazing and awesome children: Karlie Joy (born the day after Dad) and Luke Steven (born the day after Mom!)

Luke Steven Jongsma, 9 pds., born Feb 20, 2008 @ 3pm. Contractions began at 3am and by 3pm he had arrived. Mom thought everything went very well for the most part, back labor was the worst of it. That was until the next morning when mom tried to walk. I couldn't. Dr's discovered that Mom had a seperated pelvis and that I would require a walker to get around along with Physical Therapy to recover.

Mom had a very hard recovery from Luke. I had the flu the week before he arrived. While in the hospital I still had a cough, sinus congestion, and double ear aches. With a seperated pelvis and torn abdominal muscles, the Dr. placed mom on 2nd dose of antibiotics to get her better. Mom found out she was allergic to Penicillin and had an allergic reaction too! Hives all over my body. Benedryl? I can take, but it isn't advised with Breastfeeding so I have been trying to struggle through the itching spells. No hot baths (moms favorite!). There were many moments I wondered if I would ever feel normal again. This is the worst I have ever been in my life. For almost a month, I was completely out of commision due to physical struggles that kept happening!

Thank the Lord he blessed me with a beautiful healthy baby boy, I look at him and he reminds me that it is worth it, but this Mom will NEVER do it agian. I am done!

Seeing Light at the End of the Tunnel

39 weeks pregnant with the respiratory flu. Could it get any worse? I have not been this bad in a very Long time! I have officially been seperated from the world for almost a week now, and today was the first day in 6 days that I even made an effort to put alittle makeup on and venture out DRIVING! The Lord definitely knew that I could have a baby this week b/c they probably would have had to take it C-section b/c I was so incredibly weak. For those of you out there that have had this "flu" this year, you have my deepest sympathy, and for those of you that have not had it, Thank the LORD, and also help those that do have it! My husband had it last week and I honestly did not do a very good job at being a supportive wife and taking care of him, thought he was blowing it out of proportion, but I have been humbled and I have told him already that I am very Sorry for not understanding how bad he was. So today after day 4 of antibiotics, one of my ears finally popped (what an AWESOME feeling!), and I can finally see light and hope for the end. Baby J can come out now, ANYTIME, I am WAITING!!!!!!! I still can't believe that he hasn't come out yet! What is he waiting for now????

2 weeks to go

Well, today may have been my last day of work. I have the next week off, so we will see. My boss has someone on standby in case I don't make it, or I don't feel like going for the last 3 days next week Wednesday. I am feeling very Ready! I just feel like he is getting so big. He doesn't have room in there anymore. I am not that big of a person, Karlie was 8 lbs 4 oz, what if he is like 9?? Will I even be able to do it? I am petrified of this labor and have already cried to my Dr. about it. You may think I am a big whimp, but if you knew what I went through with Karlie, you would understand. I pray that this time is completely different and that he is born healthy. Steve is sick today with the flu/fever/stuffy head/sinus pressure/headaches. GREAT! So I am sleeping on the couch. Nothing new really b/c I do about 90% of the time, but I cannot get this thing he has and go into labor! Karlie is getting VERY excited for her brother to come out and she is talking more and more about him. Will the Lord bless me with one like her? She is my little angel and sunshine in life. She is such an amazing little girl and so good, I just can't say enough about how much she has changed my life and I can't believe the Love a mother can have for her children. They are so awesome! Children change you forever and for the better, she shows me what is really important in life, and I feel like I am living life all over through her. I just wish that life would slow down! I don't want her to get old, and already, I wish that I could hold her in my arms again (she's not much of a snuggler!). I think tomorrow I will start walking on the treadmill or bouncing on an exercise ball and try to get this kid out of me!!! :)

Karlie Joy Jongsma, born December 15, 2005. She is the greatest blessing to us and she brightens every day. She loves: Teletubbies, books, her snowpants, puzzles, and coloring. She can say and knows everything absolutely blowing her parents away with her knowledge. Newest love: playing on the computer (teletubbies/pbs)

22 days and counting

This is my first journal in our new blog. It has been a long week, I am really tired, and can't wait for junior to get out. 22 more days but who's counting! I feel huge, ugly, and can't move. I can't wait to run around again. It was a fun weekend. I actually got to see all my girlfriends on Friday night for some pizza and hanging out, and Saturday my brother-in-law proposed to his girlfriend Sarah and we met up at a bar to celebrate. Looks like it is going to be a busy summer with 2 kids now! I hope I am a good mom!