Portal Vein Thrombosis (blood clot)

This blood clot that they found had been in my body a long time. How long? We don't know. We know its been there a long time b/c my body has since then developed a whole new venous system around it and throughout my liver and esophagus to take care of myself. (isn't the body amazing!!!!!!!!!) The body made all new vessels around this blood clot to get the blood it needed. Most clots are caused by 1.Liver disease or failure (I had a biopsy while in the hospital of my liver and it turned out fine (thank goodness) 2. Cancer (no cancer has been found yet) 3. Blood clotting disorder 4. Trauma= Pregnancy

After being release in the hospital I have undergone Upper Endoscopy that found my "new" veins in my esophagus to be sooooo big, they are like vericose veins and my Dr. told me that I have a 50% greater chance of hemmorhaging within one year. I must remain close to the hospital in case I start to bleed. We did a procedure that next Monday to wrap rubber bands around my veins to try to prevent them from bursting, and I will have it done again in 2 weeks.

I also have to have surgery, what kind, we don't know. I am going to U of M tomorrow to meet with a liver transplant/hepatobiliary reconstruction physician for advice. I must have something done soon b/c I could die. If these veins in my throat decide to start bleeding, I am now on blood thinners, so it could be the last time b/c they might not get them to stop.

Hope this explains my life for the past 14 months. I knew something was not right, but I couldn't get anyone to listen. Could this have been prevented? Why didn't that hematologist do something? Now I have to pay the consequences and am sitting wondering if I will see a new tomorrow.......The prayer I say at night with my daughter has taken on a WHOLE new meaning "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, if I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my sould to take." AMEN!

Abdominal Ascites (free-fluid)

After scanning myself again, I noticed a drastic change and decided to show a radiologist that I work with. He talked to me, asked me questions, and told me that he was going to call my Dr. in the morning and ask him to get to the bottom of this b/c something was seriously wrong. He didn't want to scare me but it could be Colon cancer, Ovarian, but something was very wrong and he was going to make sure that they didn't ignore me anymore. I developed Ascites, (free abdominal fluid) for some unknown reason to me. That was until my Dr. finally ordered me a real CT and we found a Portal Vein Blood Clot.

Splenomegaly

So let me explain myself. When I was pregnant with Luke I had some minor "blood" issues, with my platelets. Almost couldn't get an epidural (glad that changed). Delivered, and off they sent me. Well, 5 weeks post partum my stomach was still huge so they took xrays which reviled kidney stones, nothing else. So when I returned to work after maternity leave, I decided I wanted to see how many stones I had and I scanned myself. ( I love my job!) Yes I had alot of stones and that is when my great partner noticed how LARGE my spleen was. That got us thinking..... I went to my family Dr. with my findings of my spleen, he did some blood work, got me an Ultrasound, sent me to a Cancer and hematologist and that man told me that he is No spleen Dr., that most people sitting in his office KNOW they have cancer and are not there for him to figure out. Give it 6 months post partum and everything will return to normal. Well it didnt. I had issues with alot of weird things. Got me a new primary Dr. He ordered more labs....Then I became Anemic. Still no biggy to everyone but me. I even made a "fake" Dr.'s appointment about acne to talk to him SERIOUSLY. I told him, I don't want to diagnose myself with some disease but is it possible we could be missing something here? "no. I just think this is your year for things to happen."

That was until a month ago when I started having abdomen pain and I decided to scan myself AGAIN.

Small Bowel Capsule Endoscopy

Here I am! Man this stinks! For some reason this picture isn't working, I will have to fix it later. Sorry.

So I swallowed this camera today. It was really weird. I couldn't eat anything but jello yesterday and today after swallowing the camera, I couldn't eat until 1 pm and that was only soup, Nothing else all day or morning, not even my morning coffee! Man I hate not eating. Isn't it amazing how far technology and medicine has come! That you can swallow a camera and it can videotape you internally? That is crazy! I arrived at 8am to swallow the camera and get hooked up to leads and a monitor that would send an electrical signal to the monitor and record the images. I had to wear it all day and I returned the monitor at 4:30. They only have an 8 hour battery life. No I do not have to return the camera! :) Who knows when that will come out! It is big! I am sure there are some people out there that couldn't do it.

So I have reached a breaking point. Mentally. My mom told me today that I need prozac. Thanks mom. I would like to see how other people would feel after a month of injections 2xs a day, beta blockers that make me feel like crap, give me diahrea, headaches, dr.'s appointments every week, blood work every week, tests, not eating for days for your tests.....Yes, I will admit I am crabby.

I am sick of it. Yesterday I went to see my hematologist and was very excited to see what he had to say. Steve took time off work and the Dr. walks in and says, "so, you were here a year ago, what can I help you with?" Start telling him why I was there a year ago, that no one would listen to me, blood levels dropped, I became anemic, then hospitalized...."oh, I don't have any record of any of that, I guess a lot has changed, how have you been feeling?" Luckily I came with my OWN records, my OWN reports...and could show him. "oh, you have liver disease." No I do not. I had a biopsy done that confirmed no disease or failure, my liver is functioning fine. "well do you know what labs were done on you? Did they look for this strain, this....?" (how the heck am I supposed to know!!!!!)"Well, lets see what U of M says, do some blood work and I will talk to you on the phone next week." Out the door I went.

My husband knew I wanted to kill the man and quite frankly wanted to kill him himself. I was pissed. He knew nothing about me.

I can understand why my patients are frustrated with healthcare at times....This whole experience is teaching me sooooooo much. The Lord has it all happen for a reason, am I can promise you this, I will be so much stronger, more sympathetic, loving, to my patients b/c I can relate!

Today I can only eat jello and I am trying to get my mind off food. Tomorrow I swallow a camera, and can't eat all day, Yippe!:) Lord, please hold my hand today, I need you. Amen.

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Sometimes I look at my little Lukester and wonder if he will ever know all that I have gone through after bringing his precious life into this world. Not that it was his fault, but I don't think many women out there honestly think about all of the things that could and can go wrong during delivery. I definitely know that my Dr.'s should have taken my children by C-section. My body was not made to deliver babies. I LOVED being pregnant but when it came to deliver for Luke I was petrified. I remember crying on several occasions sitting in the Dr's office b/c I was so traumatized by the delivery of Karlie and feared going through it again or having something bad happen agian. Shoot, after only 45 minutes of pushing this time I thought it was a breeze....Little did I know that I wouldn't be walking for 2 weeks due to a seperated Pelvis and broken tailbone, and that my abdominal muscles were so ripped apart that anyone could put their fists inbetween them and that I would still be dealing with traumatic health issues over one year later! OH what children do to some mothers bodies. I unfortunately wasn't one of the blessed. But just looking into those blue eyes full of wonder, I couldn't imagine life without him. He is my little buddy. He has filled the empty space in my heart that I never even knew was missing until my Luke!

Today I had my 2nd MRI for my Gallbladder and Pancrease. On Tuesday I get to meet my Hematologist (finally! and hopefully some answers to the "why" this happened) and on Friday I head off to U of M to meet my surgeon and discuss what I need to do now to take care of "what" has happened. I am scared. I am relived so far to know that I don't have cancer, but I am still not in the clear. The reasons why: 1. Liver failure (which I don't have) 2. Cancer 3. Trauma to the body=Pregnancy........In the weeks ahead I think we will be finding out the answer.

Tonight, I thank the Lord for my 2 beautiful children that mean the world to me. I was told and thought I never would have children....and just look at them today! Dr's I showed you wrong!!! They are my miracles from the good Lord above. He has blessed me in so many ways and I can't imagine my life without them. I thank God all the time for blessing me with the ability to have children and the chance of re-living life through their eyes. I just wish I could freeze time and hold them in my arms forever, their so sweet, innocent, small, and they Love me! I love you Karlie, and I love you Luke!

What a change in life. I decided to go back to my blog b/c I feel that this will be good for me. That way I can talk and let out my feelings. I cannot believe what has happened to me in 3 weeks. I have been totally sedated on 4 occasions for different procedures, and I am beginning to realize why some of my patients aren't always so shall we say "pleasant". The medical system can be very frustrating and its never a fun experience when you are the patient no matter how friendly the staff. I think the Lord has given me a whole new perception on how to treat and care for my future patients. I have come to realize that the Lord DEFINITELY placed me in my career and he did it for sooooo many reasons b/c he can use me. I can be there for my patients and I can love them the way the Lord loves all of us.

Do I go back to work tomorrow or not? I don't honestly know. I am pretty stuborn when it comes to this kind of decision and tell myself I will be fine but honestly, I have my doubts this time. I am soooo tired, I have a head/sinus/ear cold on top of all thats going on. My troats feels hurts and I have major heartburn from my procedure on monday. Well, the kids need me, so maybe I will have time to write agian later.