One of my favorite things in life has been becoming and being a mom. I received a devotional book shortly after having Karlie and it has become my favorite one and I have now read it twice. Its all about being a mom. Here are some of my favorite quotes in it:
"Thank you Lord for the sweetest human experience thus far in my life"
"When it comes to love, until I saw that "+" on a little stick, I didn't know the half of it!"
"Father, I will never be able to thank You enough for my beautiful daughter but with my own life, I will try"
"My children have taught me that I have God-given instincts that I never would have believed until now"
"thank you for awakening in me a new kind of love-a love that shows me a clearer picture of the Love God has for me"
"God infinitely loves my children more!" and He does me too!
I remember a lot of things about my "old" life, the Lisa that could go anywhere I wanted, when I wanted too, no plans, staying up late because I WANTED too, sleeping in...but one thing I don't remember is what my heart was like before I became Karlie and Lukes mom. I can tell you, It has been completely transformed.
Nothing can put a smile on a moms face quicker than hearing little feet running towards the door and the exclaimed "Mommy!" as I walk through the door. The changes in my life are amazingly worth it. Sure I have days of frustration, feeling drained, but at the end of the day I wouldn't trade my life for anyone else's b/c of my children. I loved being pregnant and miss it so much. I don't miss getting them out, and I think I can say with confidence that mine were terrible, if you want to know why, I can gladly explain! (separated pelvis, broken back, 27 hours of labor, 3 hours pushing, both kids taken to neonatal, mom sicker than a dog, allergic reactions to meds...)
Some nights I lay in Karlies bed for hours just staring at her (yes she snores but not as loud as her dad!). Its just so hard to imagine that they are mine, they came from my body, they are so beautiful to me. I sneak into Lukesters room and just treasure the sound and smell of his room, even if he wakes up in the night, he's my last one and I try to treasure the moments b/c it won't be long and I won't be able to hold him in my arms, he's not going to want his mom and my days of cuddling and holding him will be gone. It makes me so sad to even think about it. Soon mom will be tossed aside and it will be on to more important things: school, friends, love (or so you think), sports...
They say life goes fast. Talk to one elderly person and they will bring it up, especially if you bring up the kids. No one told me it would go THIS fast! Sometimes I ask the Lord just to freeze time for a little while, b/c it just doesn't seem fair....The older you get, the faster it goes! They are small for such a short time! Pretty soon they will be off to school, and the days of being home with mom will be gone! Just when you finally realize you need to start appreciating what life you got, its almost done! You can't turn around and do it over so I make it my everyday effort to live it with no regrets. I often think of that song: "live like you were dying" that song has alot of truth to it. I think everyone would live so differently....
I'll be the first to tell you, I think everyone could use a little wake up call. I am not perfect, I am a terrible sinner, I have done so much wrong, I am not a very good wife at times, I am not the best friend I should be, and I am going to fail at being a mom too BUT I know I won't do any of it alone. My family, children, and friends see me all the time, and know me at my worst and it is my prayer that at these times they can see past me, and see Jesus.
That my friends is what has changed, my heart. It needs a TON of work and that work will never end, I just pray that it starts each day with my own little wake-up call, that Lisa needs to live each and every day as if it were my last. I want to do it, I am going to try hard to be a better wife, mother, sister, friend....I know I will fail, but I am going to keep on trying!
Karlie and Luke, not even Grandma Nyenhuis, loves you more than you mom does....Someday when you become a parent yourself you will totally understand how I feel and you will be in awe at the Love a parent has for their children. I love being a mom and you have made me a better person, you have taught me some valuable lessons I will treasure forever. I wish I could freeze time and just enjoy you one on one for days! Mom and dad, thank you for all you have sacrificed on behalf of me and for loving me so much....Its mind boggling!
Lisa
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