Anyways, I watch my parents....Sorry mom and dad, but your getting older and forget things, things stress you out quicker, you can't do all the things you "used" to do and it makes me as your daughter sad to see you whom I love so much getting old. You are amazing parents and grandparents, honestly I am truly blessed. I don't want to think of the time I have to say goodbye and really, anyone could go at any time. I think about my parents and how they raised us with a good life, we weren't rich we didn't go places all the time and have alot of stuff, we didn't go on vacations, if we did it was to Cedar Point and the Conference grounds camping and we loved it! I never thought about money as a kid nor did I think we were poor, we were happy. They worked hard to give us what we had, to provide Christian education, and encouraged good behavior with discipline if you didn't. The sacrifices, dedication and love you pour into your children, you don't think about that as a teenager when you think your parents are old and old fashioned nerds, or adults until you become a parent yourself, then you realize what it means and the love for my parents has grown and becomes deeper as I raise my own. They did the same for me! I always say "the HARDEST job you will ever LOVE!!!!".
Today, I learned that a patient of mine, and even one that I ran a 5k for and won in her honor, died last month....Mother of 3, Wife, and at the ripe ol' age like me....35. She was beautiful and she loved the Lord. Tears streamed down my face watching her videos, and looking at her pictures of her with long hair, then short, holding her husbands hand, staring at her children and reading them books.... She fought the battle HARD and now shes gone. Her babies just 3 years old.....She knew her time to say goodbye would be at any moment, told maybe 6 months and yet lasted just 1. I wonder what that would feel like? I wonder what I would do, how my life would change, how much I would slow down and really start living life INTENTIONALLY!!!! To know that at any moment I am about to meet my savior, the one that died and suffered a cruel devestating death on a cross for me, the one that I put Him on! The cross I should have been on, to save a wretched evil sinful person like me?? Is what I am doing today going to matter in the light of eternity and in my personal relationship with the Lord? Really shouldn't we be living with that in the front of our mind reguardless if we know our end is coming or not?
Next patient comes in....ripe ol' age of 36. The images come up on my screen and I am mortified and heavy hearted.....I don't know if there was one inch of his body NOT filled with cancer. His lungs, liver, pancreas, intestines, bones.....He will find out soon that he too at any moment will have to say goodbye to his family and kids, same age as mine 5 and 7.....
Another one of my friends will have surgery this coming Tuesday and I ask you to PLEASE PRAY for him and the surgeon to remove a cancerous tumor from his kidney....wife just left him, 2 kids same age as mine 5 and 7......
I LOVE my job and have no doubt in my heart and mind that this is where the Lord wants me to be. I had NO CLUE what xray was when I signed up for the program nor where it would lead me, it just "sounded fun". I find great joy in my job and where can you go to work and see "Thank You! For allowing me to serve Christ by serving you today", each and every time I go into my scanning room. I found my very OWN BROTHER!!!! After 15 years of searching by working at my job, talk about the total Lord and providence, now that was the power of the Lord!!! It is a great and amazing story if you ever want to hear it I will be happy to tell you! He provided this job for me.....But days like THIS is when my job is hard. This is when I struggle in my faith and trust in the good Lord who gave us life and has our days numbered, He knows when we will leave it as well. I know from experience that struggles and trials in life are a part of every ones life and I truly believe that God's hand is in it all, He has an ultimate plan even when we don't know what it is....The only thing we can do is Trust, and live each day for Him. I had my struggles of why with my own health and sometimes still do, this is a very hard a painfully difficult subject very near and dear to my heart. I lived through it, I will have crisis again in my life, adversity is an inevitable part of life, I see it in others and I see it every time I go to work. It is times like these that I must run straight to the Lord and look to Him, for in the bible we read that in time of struggle and difficulties we MUST:
- Trust that God is working everything in your life for your good (Romans 8:28)
- Believe that the heavenly Father is in control of everything
- Accept that the Lord's ways are higher than mine (Isa.55:8-9)
- Focus on the Father instead of the circumstance
- Submit to the Will of God
- Go to the ultimate source of strength- God himself
- Be determined to view the trial as a chance to see God at work
- Remain in constant prayer, listening for the Fathers instructions. God will often use hardship to draw US closer to Him. He wants us to rely on Him, not ourselves.
- We must base our faith in God on His word rather than emotions
- In the valley we learn more about the nature of God: His presence in our pain, His LOVE in our loss and suffering, His patience despite our complaints. Through hardship, he may strip us of our pride, renew our passion for Him, refine our character and/or purify our motives of this earth
- Surrender your life to God be obedient to Him and He will guide you
- Rest in His wisdom, love and power
- To remind us of our NEED for Him, Christ
"Blessed is Lindy, William, Bruce, John Boy, Grandma Siereveld, Spencer Meyer, Mitchel Bunning, Samantha Henry, Kevin Cook, Lisa who perseveres under trial, because when he/she has stood the test, she/he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him." James 1:12
I know Lindy is free from pain and suffering, free from the evil sin of this world, and shining with her great and faithful Lord, finally able to see His face!
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