Thursday May 26 Steve and I left for Detroit for my 1st official followup at Henry Ford to have a CT and meet with my surgeon. I have to admit that pulling in was very eeery and I did not like it. It brought back tons of flashbacks of memories I never want to think about, something I hope and pray I never have to do again. I looked up at the patients windows, some of them looking out and thought, that was me not very long ago....The world keeps on going even when your a patient trapped inside the walls of the hospital for weeks, life goes on. I walked the halls and it felt so weird to be on the "outside again" to be a visitor. I saw some transporters and even the one from my terrible trip to xray and it made me want to cry. Steve asked if I wanted to go see my floor and nurses and I said NO. I never want to see it again. I hated going in that place b/c it filled me with a fear that I have never felt before.
I had my CT and bloodwork done and then came the news, things looked BEAUTIFUL!!!! I have the advantage b/c I can read CT's myself and know what they are supposed to look like and what they are NOT supposed to look like and when my surgeon had my "before surgery" and "post surgery" CTs pulled up on the screen it was the most beautiful thing I have seen since my son was born 3 years ago.
My edges of my liver are now sharp and not hazzy due to the decompression of all the pressure going thru my liver, it is now "breathing" and looking happy. My spleen is shrinking and therefore my left kidney now has a whole new home of its own, b/c before my spleen was sooo large that it was smashing my left kidney b/c it didn't have anywhere to go. My varices "veins in the esophagus" are now disappearing. My surgeon cut the vein feeding my throat therefore those large varicose veins that always needed to be wrapped and scoped (I am sure I had at least 10 scopes done where they go down your throat to look for these "varicose" veins and wrapped them if they looked like they were going to hemorrhage) are almost all gone!!! My artificial shunt/bypass was brightly enhanced with contrast meaning that it is WIDE open :) and as an extra bonus one of the large clots in my main abdomen vein is completely GONE!!! (he said he would charge extra for that one with a wink).
Can you say to God be the glory???!! It was amazing the difference now that the "dam" has been opened and things are flowing as they should be. He decreased my internal pressures perfectly and everything is going back to normal. I have no doubt in my mind that he was pleasantly if not shockingly surprised at how good everything looked inside. I told him that I had tons of people praying for me and that God answers prayer and he didn't know what to say. I have the proof right in front of his very own eyes!!! You cannot tell me that as a surgeon who cuts people open cannot have somewhat of a sense that there must be a GOD out there. Look how amazing we are made, NO ONE exactly the same, each one special in their own way with unique situations, and NO ONE can explain or create the human being but the amazing Lord. To say the least my surgeon was very happy. He looked at my scar, said it looked good, and told me he would see me in 6 months for another MRI this time (reduce the radiation) and see how things are going. I bought him a card and gave him words of thankfulness that the Lord brought him into my life and my case for giving him the knowledge and wisdom to do what it took to "fix" me. I told him that I thanked God for finally leading us to the one that knew what it took and for his compassion and love he showed to me and for taking the time for me, explaining it all so well to me and my loved ones. For the confidence that we were making the right decision...I think he thinks I am a nut job but I don't care!!! Yes I hugged him!
I got in the car and just bawled my eyes out with tears of overwhelming JOY. Praise be to the Lord for healing me, for how beautiful my body looked on the inside. He answered my and many others prayers. I just couldn't begin to even find the words to thank HIM enough, it was a VERY humbling moment for me b/c all I could do is submit my life to the Lord and say thankyou for everything. For keeping me alive, for holding my hand through this terrible journey, thru all the trials and hardships, there was only one promise and that was that God is always good no matter what. If I didn't have that faith, I could have never survived. I am forever grateful to Him for my life, for keeping me on this earth for alittle longer, for placing his almighty healing hand on my body when I thought that I was going to die and would never make it. It was the WORST time of my life I have ever gone thru, and yet here I was 6 weeks after and I was healing and alive, turning around and starting to feel like Lisa again.
I could do nothing but cry tears of Joy and thankfulness. That huge clot is gone? It looked WAY better than I could have ever imagined. I have so much to be thankful for.....trust me, life will NEVER be looked at the same again. It is such a HUGE eye opener that it forever changes who you are and for the better!!
This song brings tears to my eyes all the time, gave me chills the first time I heard it, and is my prayer forever. It could not have come at a better time and this will be my life song of praise and glory to the Lord for helping me through this journey.....It is my life, my heart, WORD FOR WORD....I couldn't say it more perfectly.
Laura Story: Blessings
We pray for blessings, We pray for peace, Comfort for family, Protection while we sleep.
We pray for healing, For prosperity. We pray for your mighty hand to ease our SUFFERING.
All the while YOU hear each spoken need.
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things.
Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops?
What if your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know YOUR near?
What if trials of this life are YOUR mercies in disguise?
We pray for wisdom, YOUR voice to hear. We cry in anger when we cannot feel YOU near.
We doubt YOUR goodness, we doubt YOUR love. As if every promise from YOUR word is not enough. All the while, YOU hear each desperate plead, the longer we have Faith to believe.
Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops, what if your healing comes through tears? What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know YOUR near?
What if trials of this life are YOUR mercies in disguise?
When friends betray us, when darkness seems to win, we know the pain reminds this heart that this is not, This is not our home, its not our home!!!
Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops? What if your healing comes through tears? What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know YOUR near? What if my greatest disappointments were the aching of this life is their revealing of a greater thirst this world CANNOT satisfy? And what if trials of this life, the rain that storms, the hardest nights..........
Are YOUR mercies in disguise???
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