It has been an insane year, the year of 2011 has been a life changing one. I look back and I cannot believe how much has happened, changed, places I have been, things done....
I found out that I was sick again, I was in the hospital at metro for 4 days, experienced my first internal bleed, traveled to U of M for a consult with liver surgeon #1, traveled to Cleveland Clinic in Ohio for a consult with liver surgeon #2, and traveled to Henry Ford Detroit for a consult with liver surgeon #3. I am still mind boggled that 3 Dr's all had different views and opinions! Along with 3 scopes to look at my varicose veins in my throat, meaning sedation, and along with it comes pain, no eating, and a few days out of commission. And then on top of that, within a month and a half, we sold our house, signed, closed, moved out and moved into a farm house. Oh my goodness, no wonder I feel like I have been living life in a whirlwind!! There are days that I don't know where I am going or what I am doing!
Finally things seem to be settling down, and I can sit back and feel peace. Our home is gone, and I leave it with no sad feelings. That makes me feel good. Its not that I didn't love our home, I really did and I pray that I find one that I love as much as it. It was just time....Time to move on, and find the home to raise our kids for the rest of their lives and one not on a busy road, one with sidewalks, and hopefully many new friends. I am still sitting here with boxes all around and clothes piled on the floor, not knowing where to go with most of it. If you know me, I do not like disorder. Ya, I have some OCD but I am getting better in my old age :) I will always like things organized and clean but I am learning to let stuff go too, you start to realize it really DOESN'T matter and whats clean one minute is dirty the next. I have too many other things that ARE important to focus on.
So far I have successfully locked myself out of this little farm house 3 times. Day one, leaving for work for the first time. Let our dog out, 6 am, locked out. Knock on the front window and THANKFULLY sleeping king actually woke up and let me in. Turn around and try to open the garage door, stuck shut. Try to go back in the house, left the only key on the table, locked out again. THANKFULLY it was STEVE that decided it would be brilliant to close a 75 year old garage door that probably has never moved in 75 years. The springs snapped and wires went flying scraping my whole length of my car and smashing my windshield which now has a crack going all the way across my view. (if it would have been me that did this to HIS truck, oh my, I would never hear the end of it!) I have fallen, banged and knotted every muscle in my body, moving and lifting things to get us "settled" Only proves to me that I am definitely getting old and I better only have to move one more time in my life, why do we have sooo much unnecessary stuff!!!!
Karlie and Luke think this place is awesome. I asked if they missed our house and they screamed NO!!!! Luke says "I like our farm house!" They love sharing a room and think we are on a great adventure. Karlie refuses to take a bath or shower b/c she says there is dirt in the water. I will admit, I am sure she over hears me, and I don't think I will ever be taking a bath here, even went back to mom and dads to take one at their house, it was wonderful! City water!! Do you ever outgrow your mom and dads house? I feel like I still live there sometimes and I am 34 years old!!! Don't worry, I am clean, I do take showers here :)The dishes...Actually I have learned that its not that bad living without a dishwasher. Steve and I have bonded quite often over the dishes and tonight we were washing and drying the dishes together jamming away to Styx on the Ipod player. He keeps telling me that he is going to turn me into his little country girl yet. :)
I like it here. I feel at home. Now all I have to do is wait. Wait for surgery which hopefully will be happening soon and I will find out in the next few days. Wait for the house to hit that market that will be our HOME. Am I anxious? No. I am content. I am learning to appreciate even more, living simple, and loving it. I could rent this place for the rest of my life, eventually I will have to get used to the water! :) Do not be anxious about anything but by prayer and petition and with thanksgiving present your requests to God. (phil.4:6) The Lord will always take care of us, I have no fear, no anxious desires. I just love the Lord my God with all my heart and I am not afraid to tell anyone about it! Lead me, help me Lord to be the woman, the wife, mom, daughter, sister, and friend that you have called me to be. Fill my heart with your truth, and show me how to glorify you in all that I do. Amen.
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