FINDING YOUR MISSING "PEACE"

Yes, believe it or not, I have decided to start writing my book. Its all about finding your missing "peace" and will have puzzle pieces on the front. What is your missing piece? Have you placed it in other things that in the end doesn't give you the peace you were hoping? I know I have.... We will see. I am not the greatest at this writing thing, but it is something that has been weighing on my heart and when I feel like that, I often believe that the Lord is placing it there. God speaks to me and I am trying harder to listen to Him and His voice and direction.

So, my last blog entry was liked by many, except for one person...My mom. Maybe there are many more that didn't like it either and that's ok. Yes, I swore, sorry mom. Don't we all have little pet peeves? Its a license plate. No it doesn't irritate me to the point that I let it bother my life, no I don't complain about trivial little things often, but its funny. We all have em. Its a weird quirk about me....

Yes it sounded harsh, but in reality doesn't the word of God and His truth sting us all sometimes? I wasn't speaking harsh to any of those reading it, this whole blog thing is for me. It started when I got sick and it has given me a release of feelings, reflection, and if anything, a legacy to leave on to my children so that they can see how good God was when mom was sick and when she wasn't, when they were little and how good He always is and will be if we only would see it that way and depend on Him.

The words here are for me, and if you gain something from them as well, great! If not, then I am sorry. Its a reflection for me who GOD is and what he has done for me and my need for dependence on Him. The words were His weighing on my heart at that time not for me to be condemning you. If I think about my life in reflection to what He has done for me it does hurt. B/c I fail him miserably in my dependence on Him and it is my prayer to learn from those failures, repent and profit from them. It has happened and it will happen again BUT the Lord has given me new life and new hope and truth that He is shaping me into who He wants me to be.

I am here to show that He is teaching me and broke me, and I don't know what that is like for you, I can only give you my witness and testimony of what it took me. I often think of the alcoholic or drug abuser, anyone struggling with a great addiction...You pray and pray for them to break free from it, You try to break them yourself taking things into your own hands and we don't see the results we want. ONLY the Lord knows what their breaking point is. Only HE knew what it took me to change my heart, my life and truly see HIM. Only He knows what it is going to take to turn your life to a life with Him. Its different for every single person. Would I want you to go through what He sent me through if I had the choice? NO, b/c it was horrible and the worst thing I could ever imagine but obviously the Lord had His hand in it the whole time b/c HE knew what would happen in the end. That I would look back and see His hand in it all. Sometimes it takes trials like that to have it happen. I don't wish it on my worst enemy and sometimes I have to say "really Lord, it had to be THAT bad for me to listen?" I don't think it did but who am I to say? Whats it going to take to break them, or you? I don't know but God does.

I know that I was trying to handle this life on my own. I can do it. Yes, I am a stubborn, strong-willed, type-A, I can do anything attitude type of person and I have fought it all my life but the Lord has shown me and broken me to wake me up and say "Lisa, YOU CAN'T!!" and trust me, I now KNOW I CANT!! He has shown me that I need to depend on Him. When I try to do it my way and say Yes before asking Him, I fail miserably. When God has told me no, or not yet, or I am sorry to put you through something like this, when I have listened...I have never been disappointed with the outcome. I am a work in progress...He has shown me that I cannot live in this world without Him, I am not strong enough to live in this world and do all I am supposed to do and be without Him! For that breaking of me, no matter how terrible it was, I am forever grateful b/c I now know, I can do all things but only with Him.

With that being said I give you the words of a favorite song of mine. Music moves me and the Lord speaks to me loudly through it. In a way its like the bible to me. You can read the same scripture over and over, all your life and wonder what it really means or not have it speak to you....until you are in the situation they are speaking about and then its words speak volumes!! It might not be applicable to you at the time, but you never know when you cross the path in life that it will become a vital lifeline for you.

"STRONG ENOUGH" by Matthew West

You Must, You must think I'm strong
To give me what I'm going through
Well, forgive me if I'm wrong but this looks like more than I can do, on my own.
I know I'm not strong enough to be everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up, I'm not strong enough...
Hand of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be, Strong enough, Strong enough for the BOTH of us!
Well maybe, maybe that's the point. To reach the point of giving up.
Cause when I'm finally at rock bottom
Well, that's when I start looking up and reaching out.
I know I'm not strong enough to be everything that I'm supposed to be (wife,mother,friend,sister,daughter,employee,caretaker,giver,forgiver,...must the list go on?)
I give up, I'm not strong enough.
Hands of mercy won't you cover me Lord right now I'm asking you to be Strong enough, strong enough...
Cause I'm broken, down to nothing, But I'm still holding on to the one thing
You are God and You are strong, When I am weak,
I can do all things through Christ who give me strength And I don't HAVE TO BE STRONG ENOUGH!!!
Strong enough, oh ya, I know I'm not strong enough to be everything that I'm supposed to be I give up,
I'm not strong enough.
Hands of mercy won't you cover me, Lord right now I'm asking you to be Strong enough for the both of us!