Saturday, January 14, 2012

REFLECTION ON LIFE

For the past few weeks, being that it is a new year, I do alot of reflecting and analyzing, my life. For some, they may look back and say "oh I wish I did this or I wish I did that, or if this would happen I would be this, I wonder what my life would have been like if...." Ya, I know, MANY think their life would be so much better than it is today right?

I look back and think of my early childhood and I LOVED it. Then I went to Jr.High and things started changing, girls were mean, and I don't have to tell you any names b/c if they are reading this today they know who they are. They purposely had it out to get me, make me look bad, trip me, push me, lie about me, get others to hate me...You name it. Girls are mean, Im sure boys are too. Never did change. To be honest, it still hasn't. Those girls grow up to be women/mothers just like I did and some of them never change. Women can be just as evil! But I have to be honest with you and I really don't want to go back, I don't want to change things b/c those things that happened, the guys I dated and ran away from :), the friendships I had, the things I did (bad and good), schools I went too, made me who I am today. I am in the best place I have ever been and I am confident that this year will be the best year of my life in many ways it already has....I know who I am and that is all that matters. I'm not going to let someone else determine that, if they try, go ahead, I know where I stand and no one can take that away from me and with that I can do anything!

There are few things that I CANNOT tolerate in life... hypocrites, woo is me attitude, half full thinking, negativity and beautiful cars with rusty license plates! For petes sake people!! If you can afford a decent car, buy yourself a nice plate that doesn't make it look like shit!! :)

I cannot stand people that complain...Nothing in life is good enough, they don't make enough money, they don't have a ____, they cant take expensive trips, they've never been here or there, success in the eyes of others, they don't have a _____, they don't have a nice enough house, they cant do this or that, they can't send their kids to christian school b/c they have to spend it on other important things. Their fat, ugly, their kids drive them crazy (whos kids don't at one point or other?) and life is so much better when I can have my time, my space, my my my my!!!! uggggghhhhh!!!! What really kills me is those people that think you have to live in a certian neighborhood, drive a certian car or truck, and hang out with the "cool" people....What makes them so cool? Go ahead you can hang out with those "cool" people and I could care less....Thanks to my dad for giving me this attitude in life. I would love to invite them over to my house and spend some real time with them talking about how hard they think their life is, and I am by NO means saying that life isn't hard and that some of the things you are going through ARE very hard,frustrating and disapointing, Its all very real to you, I am not here on this earth to judge you b/c trust me, I will also be judged someday. Better yet, why don't they come to work with me and spend a day holding the hand of someone that is knocking on deaths door filled with cancer, poison filling their body ready to take their last breath. Lets go talk to the Bunnings, Meyer's, or the Henry's about how bad your life is, while they spend every moment fighting for their childs life. Or the widow that just lost their husband, the father of young children instantly killed, the parents of a child that took their own life b/c of the very bullying that happens to sooo many of us and believe there is no other way out!!

You all know them, negative thinkers. Do they make you happy to be around? Not me. Oh sure, I am not saying that I NEVER complain, I do, there are many days I would love to be a man and sit on my hinny doing nothing but watching tv (reading or crafting for me) after my "work day" is done (ooops did I say that? :) There are many things that I don't have and would love to have but I just don't see how complaining or talking about it is going to change the situation and its just a fact of life, you can't always have what you want, is it really going to make my life that much better, no so who cares. I know its hard to live in America where people don't think only of themselves and not in some way get affected by it. Americans think they know what everyone else needs and if YOU don't have it, then your not good enough. Man was Pastor Don on fire this week and it was AWESOME!!!!


Then theres church....filled with perfect people right? Many sure do act like it. I know many of them there for reasons again that come back to one word, SELF. It makes them look better, lets see who's watching or looking at me, lets act like the perfect married happy couple that we want everyone to think we are. Lets get active and get involved so others will notice ME. Lets advertise ourselves so that others will come to my company and give their money to us....This is a difficult struggle for me right now because I don't have to tell you, You know when people have "it" and when they don't. You can SEE it, FEEL it, and you KNOW. Instead of acknowledging our sins and weaknesses and being humble about how sinful we truly are, you need to hold it all together perfectly, heavin forbid if people saw the REAL you. Who is the real you? There are many that I thought I knew, but it didn't take long before I began to wonder if I ever really did. If your not on their "level" they will let you know it.....

What is life? No life is a waste and everyone has a meaning and a purpose. What is yours? Still trying to figure that out? I was too until the Lord hit me on the side of the head and told me to wake up and smell the roses b/c life is over before you know it. We are here to honor and serve the Lord, not ourselves. He gave us this life, He made us, He made YOU and your kids unique and perfect in HIS eyes. Yes being a mother is Hard work and if you are looking for a pat on the back saying "good job ____ your working so hard and your such a good mother and your kids are so good, you must be sooo tired...." so that you can feel good about yourself it may never happen!!! Life is hard, NOONE said it is easy but suck it up!!!! SELF gratification, if that is what your true motive is and why you wake up each morning you are missing the BIG picture. YOU ARE! I hate to break it to you. Get in the word not the world. Quit looking at what everyone else has and how much better they look than you do according to YOUR head and YOUR thinking. Your going to go with the worlds philosophy about all the things this world makes you "think" you have to have....No wonder your so stressed out all the time and feel bad when your constantly comparing yourself to everyone else! In the end WHO IS GOING TO CARE!!!!


Pastor Don's summary "when we love and serve the Lord it is impossible to waste even a moment of the precious thing called= LIFE"

1 comment:

Sherry in MI said...

There is so much I could say and relate to, but I think this sums it up: AMEN, SISTER!!!