Hopefully we will have babies anyday!! We are all excited over here with the new little additions in the "love box"....oh brother, I can't believe I am turning into "the bird lady". They are sooo cute though!!!
Sunday, January 15, 2012
OUR LOVEBIRDS- CHIPPER AND CHARLIE
Hopefully we will have babies anyday!! We are all excited over here with the new little additions in the "love box"....oh brother, I can't believe I am turning into "the bird lady". They are sooo cute though!!!
Saturday, January 14, 2012
REFLECTION ON LIFE
For the past few weeks, being that it is a new year, I do alot of reflecting and analyzing, my life. For some, they may look back and say "oh I wish I did this or I wish I did that, or if this would happen I would be this, I wonder what my life would have been like if...." Ya, I know, MANY think their life would be so much better than it is today right?
I look back and think of my early childhood and I LOVED it. Then I went to Jr.High and things started changing, girls were mean, and I don't have to tell you any names b/c if they are reading this today they know who they are. They purposely had it out to get me, make me look bad, trip me, push me, lie about me, get others to hate me...You name it. Girls are mean, Im sure boys are too. Never did change. To be honest, it still hasn't. Those girls grow up to be women/mothers just like I did and some of them never change. Women can be just as evil! But I have to be honest with you and I really don't want to go back, I don't want to change things b/c those things that happened, the guys I dated and ran away from :), the friendships I had, the things I did (bad and good), schools I went too, made me who I am today. I am in the best place I have ever been and I am confident that this year will be the best year of my life in many ways it already has....I know who I am and that is all that matters. I'm not going to let someone else determine that, if they try, go ahead, I know where I stand and no one can take that away from me and with that I can do anything!
There are few things that I CANNOT tolerate in life... hypocrites, woo is me attitude, half full thinking, negativity and beautiful cars with rusty license plates! For petes sake people!! If you can afford a decent car, buy yourself a nice plate that doesn't make it look like shit!! :)
I cannot stand people that complain...Nothing in life is good enough, they don't make enough money, they don't have a ____, they cant take expensive trips, they've never been here or there, success in the eyes of others, they don't have a _____, they don't have a nice enough house, they cant do this or that, they can't send their kids to christian school b/c they have to spend it on other important things. Their fat, ugly, their kids drive them crazy (whos kids don't at one point or other?) and life is so much better when I can have my time, my space, my my my my!!!! uggggghhhhh!!!! What really kills me is those people that think you have to live in a certian neighborhood, drive a certian car or truck, and hang out with the "cool" people....What makes them so cool? Go ahead you can hang out with those "cool" people and I could care less....Thanks to my dad for giving me this attitude in life. I would love to invite them over to my house and spend some real time with them talking about how hard they think their life is, and I am by NO means saying that life isn't hard and that some of the things you are going through ARE very hard,frustrating and disapointing, Its all very real to you, I am not here on this earth to judge you b/c trust me, I will also be judged someday. Better yet, why don't they come to work with me and spend a day holding the hand of someone that is knocking on deaths door filled with cancer, poison filling their body ready to take their last breath. Lets go talk to the Bunnings, Meyer's, or the Henry's about how bad your life is, while they spend every moment fighting for their childs life. Or the widow that just lost their husband, the father of young children instantly killed, the parents of a child that took their own life b/c of the very bullying that happens to sooo many of us and believe there is no other way out!!
You all know them, negative thinkers. Do they make you happy to be around? Not me. Oh sure, I am not saying that I NEVER complain, I do, there are many days I would love to be a man and sit on my hinny doing nothing but watching tv (reading or crafting for me) after my "work day" is done (ooops did I say that? :) There are many things that I don't have and would love to have but I just don't see how complaining or talking about it is going to change the situation and its just a fact of life, you can't always have what you want, is it really going to make my life that much better, no so who cares. I know its hard to live in America where people don't think only of themselves and not in some way get affected by it. Americans think they know what everyone else needs and if YOU don't have it, then your not good enough. Man was Pastor Don on fire this week and it was AWESOME!!!!
Then theres church....filled with perfect people right? Many sure do act like it. I know many of them there for reasons again that come back to one word, SELF. It makes them look better, lets see who's watching or looking at me, lets act like the perfect married happy couple that we want everyone to think we are. Lets get active and get involved so others will notice ME. Lets advertise ourselves so that others will come to my company and give their money to us....This is a difficult struggle for me right now because I don't have to tell you, You know when people have "it" and when they don't. You can SEE it, FEEL it, and you KNOW. Instead of acknowledging our sins and weaknesses and being humble about how sinful we truly are, you need to hold it all together perfectly, heavin forbid if people saw the REAL you. Who is the real you? There are many that I thought I knew, but it didn't take long before I began to wonder if I ever really did. If your not on their "level" they will let you know it.....
What is life? No life is a waste and everyone has a meaning and a purpose. What is yours? Still trying to figure that out? I was too until the Lord hit me on the side of the head and told me to wake up and smell the roses b/c life is over before you know it. We are here to honor and serve the Lord, not ourselves. He gave us this life, He made us, He made YOU and your kids unique and perfect in HIS eyes. Yes being a mother is Hard work and if you are looking for a pat on the back saying "good job ____ your working so hard and your such a good mother and your kids are so good, you must be sooo tired...." so that you can feel good about yourself it may never happen!!! Life is hard, NOONE said it is easy but suck it up!!!! SELF gratification, if that is what your true motive is and why you wake up each morning you are missing the BIG picture. YOU ARE! I hate to break it to you. Get in the word not the world. Quit looking at what everyone else has and how much better they look than you do according to YOUR head and YOUR thinking. Your going to go with the worlds philosophy about all the things this world makes you "think" you have to have....No wonder your so stressed out all the time and feel bad when your constantly comparing yourself to everyone else! In the end WHO IS GOING TO CARE!!!!
Pastor Don's summary "when we love and serve the Lord it is impossible to waste even a moment of the precious thing called= LIFE"
I look back and think of my early childhood and I LOVED it. Then I went to Jr.High and things started changing, girls were mean, and I don't have to tell you any names b/c if they are reading this today they know who they are. They purposely had it out to get me, make me look bad, trip me, push me, lie about me, get others to hate me...You name it. Girls are mean, Im sure boys are too. Never did change. To be honest, it still hasn't. Those girls grow up to be women/mothers just like I did and some of them never change. Women can be just as evil! But I have to be honest with you and I really don't want to go back, I don't want to change things b/c those things that happened, the guys I dated and ran away from :), the friendships I had, the things I did (bad and good), schools I went too, made me who I am today. I am in the best place I have ever been and I am confident that this year will be the best year of my life in many ways it already has....I know who I am and that is all that matters. I'm not going to let someone else determine that, if they try, go ahead, I know where I stand and no one can take that away from me and with that I can do anything!
There are few things that I CANNOT tolerate in life... hypocrites, woo is me attitude, half full thinking, negativity and beautiful cars with rusty license plates! For petes sake people!! If you can afford a decent car, buy yourself a nice plate that doesn't make it look like shit!! :)
I cannot stand people that complain...Nothing in life is good enough, they don't make enough money, they don't have a ____, they cant take expensive trips, they've never been here or there, success in the eyes of others, they don't have a _____, they don't have a nice enough house, they cant do this or that, they can't send their kids to christian school b/c they have to spend it on other important things. Their fat, ugly, their kids drive them crazy (whos kids don't at one point or other?) and life is so much better when I can have my time, my space, my my my my!!!! uggggghhhhh!!!! What really kills me is those people that think you have to live in a certian neighborhood, drive a certian car or truck, and hang out with the "cool" people....What makes them so cool? Go ahead you can hang out with those "cool" people and I could care less....Thanks to my dad for giving me this attitude in life. I would love to invite them over to my house and spend some real time with them talking about how hard they think their life is, and I am by NO means saying that life isn't hard and that some of the things you are going through ARE very hard,frustrating and disapointing, Its all very real to you, I am not here on this earth to judge you b/c trust me, I will also be judged someday. Better yet, why don't they come to work with me and spend a day holding the hand of someone that is knocking on deaths door filled with cancer, poison filling their body ready to take their last breath. Lets go talk to the Bunnings, Meyer's, or the Henry's about how bad your life is, while they spend every moment fighting for their childs life. Or the widow that just lost their husband, the father of young children instantly killed, the parents of a child that took their own life b/c of the very bullying that happens to sooo many of us and believe there is no other way out!!
You all know them, negative thinkers. Do they make you happy to be around? Not me. Oh sure, I am not saying that I NEVER complain, I do, there are many days I would love to be a man and sit on my hinny doing nothing but watching tv (reading or crafting for me) after my "work day" is done (ooops did I say that? :) There are many things that I don't have and would love to have but I just don't see how complaining or talking about it is going to change the situation and its just a fact of life, you can't always have what you want, is it really going to make my life that much better, no so who cares. I know its hard to live in America where people don't think only of themselves and not in some way get affected by it. Americans think they know what everyone else needs and if YOU don't have it, then your not good enough. Man was Pastor Don on fire this week and it was AWESOME!!!!
Then theres church....filled with perfect people right? Many sure do act like it. I know many of them there for reasons again that come back to one word, SELF. It makes them look better, lets see who's watching or looking at me, lets act like the perfect married happy couple that we want everyone to think we are. Lets get active and get involved so others will notice ME. Lets advertise ourselves so that others will come to my company and give their money to us....This is a difficult struggle for me right now because I don't have to tell you, You know when people have "it" and when they don't. You can SEE it, FEEL it, and you KNOW. Instead of acknowledging our sins and weaknesses and being humble about how sinful we truly are, you need to hold it all together perfectly, heavin forbid if people saw the REAL you. Who is the real you? There are many that I thought I knew, but it didn't take long before I began to wonder if I ever really did. If your not on their "level" they will let you know it.....
What is life? No life is a waste and everyone has a meaning and a purpose. What is yours? Still trying to figure that out? I was too until the Lord hit me on the side of the head and told me to wake up and smell the roses b/c life is over before you know it. We are here to honor and serve the Lord, not ourselves. He gave us this life, He made us, He made YOU and your kids unique and perfect in HIS eyes. Yes being a mother is Hard work and if you are looking for a pat on the back saying "good job ____ your working so hard and your such a good mother and your kids are so good, you must be sooo tired...." so that you can feel good about yourself it may never happen!!! Life is hard, NOONE said it is easy but suck it up!!!! SELF gratification, if that is what your true motive is and why you wake up each morning you are missing the BIG picture. YOU ARE! I hate to break it to you. Get in the word not the world. Quit looking at what everyone else has and how much better they look than you do according to YOUR head and YOUR thinking. Your going to go with the worlds philosophy about all the things this world makes you "think" you have to have....No wonder your so stressed out all the time and feel bad when your constantly comparing yourself to everyone else! In the end WHO IS GOING TO CARE!!!!
Pastor Don's summary "when we love and serve the Lord it is impossible to waste even a moment of the precious thing called= LIFE"
Sunday, January 1, 2012
THE YEAR OF 2011
What a year it has been! Its hard to believe that it is going to be 2012...actually it is as I write. wow I am getting old! When I think about this past year it brings many different emotions. Feelings of relief. Feelings of sadness (means the kids are getting older too!). Feelings of gratitude. It doesn't even seem real to me when I think of what this year has been, where I have been, what has happened, feels like I am in a dream when I think about it really.....Maybe b/c it was all such a blur...
2011 A YEAR OF TRIALS AND A YEAR OF BLESSINGS!!!
February- Hospitalized for 5 days with my first internal bleed from my esophagus veins growing in my throat. My disease has come back to life with avengence, new clots and bleeding mean it is time to take another step forward in a different direction. something else must be done, but what? Lost 3 units of blood and received my first blood transfusion. Scary! Full of fear. Alone. Allergic reaction to my blood transfusion lands me in the ICU, I almost died. Dr's are confused and don't know what to tell me or where I need to go. They can't help me here. Doesn't anyone care??? Please don't leave me alone to die! If you don't know what to do how am I?
March- got an offer on our house and sold it. Timing= Horrible. But like I said to Steve "We have to take a leap of faith and put our trust in God that He WILL help us through this, we need to let it go". Have to be out by the end of the month. Church and family help us pack and move. Help us find a rental home. Steve and I go to U of M, Cleveland clinic, and Detroit in search of answers, hope, someone that may know what I need to do to save my life. 3 different opinions. Now We must choose.
April- bypass surgery done at Detroit hospital. Artificial Splenorenal shunt placed in my abdomen cut entirely open during a 5 hour surgery. 8 days in the hospital again far away from my kids and family. collapsed lungs, pain and suffering. Why on earth is this happening to ME? What have I done Lord to deserve this road I have been driving for the past 2 years of my life.....Horrible experience.
May-June- recovery. slow. Not able to take care of my own children. living in an adorable rental farm house on 20 acres of peacefulness and serenity. Gaining strength back, thanking the Lord that I am alive...I have made it so far. There were many days that I wanted Him to take me home. I didn't think I had what it took to make it. Loneliness and pain, suffering, fear, doubt....all sink in.
July- bought new home. Time to start anew!! Moving time again. Feeling good and blessed to have my family and friends that love me so much to help me through this far.
August- smash and break my finger, wedding ring cut off due to bloodthinners and complications. Followed by camping and enjoying time alone with my kids, the Lord, filled with gratitude. Luke breaks his arm and has to have his in a cast for 6 weeks. Poor buddy.
Sept-December- settling in to our new home and loving it! Surrounded with family and friends. Karlies in Kindergarten all day and everyday, changing leaps and bounds before my eyes. I wonder if she will ever know how much her momma loves her? That I want to protect her, guide her, and for her to live life to the fullest with a relationship with the Lord! Instead she just rolls her eyes at me and already gives me the shoulder :( Lukes moms little buddy, usually sick with allergies, asthma and bronchitis. Visit to Detroit to see surgeon for 8 month followup. He brings tears and joy. I have come sooo far when we compare to prior CT's when I was really sick. My bypass is OPEN and working well. BUT vessels are enlarging, liver is growing, not as much blood is going thru liver as anticipated, lifelong injections of bloodthinner make me scared....We must wait and see.....Will it stay open? Will bloodthinners cause a catastrophe again of bleeding out, what if we can't stop it? What if its in my brain? I see too much Lisa at work....Put your faith and trust in God. My life is in His hands and only He knows the answers to this all. Live each day as if it were my last. Enjoy my kids and loved ones to the fullest. Spend every day with the Lord and serving Him. My goal. My will. It will be done.
Thank you Lord for my life. Forgive me when I complain about its lumps and bumps :) For blessing me with my friends and family that have been with me through this year, for being there to help with my children when I couldn't be. For giving me the strength I needed to go on, for telling me To fight and keep trying when I have felt like giving up. For holding my hand when I was scared and alone, lying in hospital beds, visiting dr's, and fighting for my life. Thank you for providing us with Dr. Aboujould and providing him with the knowledge, wisdom and skill to see the whole picture and what was needed to fix Lisa, not just another patient. For guiding his hands during the surgery and for allowing all to go well so far. Thank you for our church, the prayers, meals, cards, flowers, the Veltemas and their generous hearts allowing us use of their storage units and their adorable farm house that we could call home while I was recovering and healing while searching for our next home. Thank you for leading us to our new home, it is perfect for us! It is so beautiful and we are so happy there! It will be filled with so many wonderful memories for years and years to come. Thank you for loving me and for sacrificing your life for mine. I pray that I live my life each day to the fullest for you and bring glory to your name for all the goodness, love and mercy you have given. Please help my little light shine to everyone around so they may see the Love I have for you and teach me how to show them the love you have for them so that they may know you too! Thank you for drawing me closer to you through this all. You have blessed me in more ways than I deserve and I am forever grateful for all that you have done. Please, continue to hold my hand in the time that lies ahead however long that may be..... May I always lean on the promises that you have proven to me to be so true. I will Trust in you with all of my heart, and when I am taken home, I know that I will be with you.
2011 A YEAR OF TRIALS AND A YEAR OF BLESSINGS!!!
February- Hospitalized for 5 days with my first internal bleed from my esophagus veins growing in my throat. My disease has come back to life with avengence, new clots and bleeding mean it is time to take another step forward in a different direction. something else must be done, but what? Lost 3 units of blood and received my first blood transfusion. Scary! Full of fear. Alone. Allergic reaction to my blood transfusion lands me in the ICU, I almost died. Dr's are confused and don't know what to tell me or where I need to go. They can't help me here. Doesn't anyone care??? Please don't leave me alone to die! If you don't know what to do how am I?
March- got an offer on our house and sold it. Timing= Horrible. But like I said to Steve "We have to take a leap of faith and put our trust in God that He WILL help us through this, we need to let it go". Have to be out by the end of the month. Church and family help us pack and move. Help us find a rental home. Steve and I go to U of M, Cleveland clinic, and Detroit in search of answers, hope, someone that may know what I need to do to save my life. 3 different opinions. Now We must choose.
April- bypass surgery done at Detroit hospital. Artificial Splenorenal shunt placed in my abdomen cut entirely open during a 5 hour surgery. 8 days in the hospital again far away from my kids and family. collapsed lungs, pain and suffering. Why on earth is this happening to ME? What have I done Lord to deserve this road I have been driving for the past 2 years of my life.....Horrible experience.
May-June- recovery. slow. Not able to take care of my own children. living in an adorable rental farm house on 20 acres of peacefulness and serenity. Gaining strength back, thanking the Lord that I am alive...I have made it so far. There were many days that I wanted Him to take me home. I didn't think I had what it took to make it. Loneliness and pain, suffering, fear, doubt....all sink in.
July- bought new home. Time to start anew!! Moving time again. Feeling good and blessed to have my family and friends that love me so much to help me through this far.
August- smash and break my finger, wedding ring cut off due to bloodthinners and complications. Followed by camping and enjoying time alone with my kids, the Lord, filled with gratitude. Luke breaks his arm and has to have his in a cast for 6 weeks. Poor buddy.
Sept-December- settling in to our new home and loving it! Surrounded with family and friends. Karlies in Kindergarten all day and everyday, changing leaps and bounds before my eyes. I wonder if she will ever know how much her momma loves her? That I want to protect her, guide her, and for her to live life to the fullest with a relationship with the Lord! Instead she just rolls her eyes at me and already gives me the shoulder :( Lukes moms little buddy, usually sick with allergies, asthma and bronchitis. Visit to Detroit to see surgeon for 8 month followup. He brings tears and joy. I have come sooo far when we compare to prior CT's when I was really sick. My bypass is OPEN and working well. BUT vessels are enlarging, liver is growing, not as much blood is going thru liver as anticipated, lifelong injections of bloodthinner make me scared....We must wait and see.....Will it stay open? Will bloodthinners cause a catastrophe again of bleeding out, what if we can't stop it? What if its in my brain? I see too much Lisa at work....Put your faith and trust in God. My life is in His hands and only He knows the answers to this all. Live each day as if it were my last. Enjoy my kids and loved ones to the fullest. Spend every day with the Lord and serving Him. My goal. My will. It will be done.
Thank you Lord for my life. Forgive me when I complain about its lumps and bumps :) For blessing me with my friends and family that have been with me through this year, for being there to help with my children when I couldn't be. For giving me the strength I needed to go on, for telling me To fight and keep trying when I have felt like giving up. For holding my hand when I was scared and alone, lying in hospital beds, visiting dr's, and fighting for my life. Thank you for providing us with Dr. Aboujould and providing him with the knowledge, wisdom and skill to see the whole picture and what was needed to fix Lisa, not just another patient. For guiding his hands during the surgery and for allowing all to go well so far. Thank you for our church, the prayers, meals, cards, flowers, the Veltemas and their generous hearts allowing us use of their storage units and their adorable farm house that we could call home while I was recovering and healing while searching for our next home. Thank you for leading us to our new home, it is perfect for us! It is so beautiful and we are so happy there! It will be filled with so many wonderful memories for years and years to come. Thank you for loving me and for sacrificing your life for mine. I pray that I live my life each day to the fullest for you and bring glory to your name for all the goodness, love and mercy you have given. Please help my little light shine to everyone around so they may see the Love I have for you and teach me how to show them the love you have for them so that they may know you too! Thank you for drawing me closer to you through this all. You have blessed me in more ways than I deserve and I am forever grateful for all that you have done. Please, continue to hold my hand in the time that lies ahead however long that may be..... May I always lean on the promises that you have proven to me to be so true. I will Trust in you with all of my heart, and when I am taken home, I know that I will be with you.
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