AUGUST? THAT CAN'T BE!

I cannot believe how quickly this year has gone! I don't know why I am so surprised, but it just doesn't seem fair that when your life is going well and you start fully living life to its fullest and appreciate everything in a new way, it goes faster and faster. Like I say "EACH DAY IS A GIFT" and I sure wish I had the knowledge and Lord in my heart like I do today 10 years ago! But then again, I wouldn't be who I am today and I really have been greatly blessed.

I believe this has been the most amazing, stressful, chaos, saddest and happiest, blessed year I have ever had. I have been on the biggest roller coaster of my entire life all in one year!!! I almost died, sold a house, moved to a rental, had invasive bypass surgery, and bought a new house all within 8 months. I have hit rock bottom and begged for the Lord to do something when all it felt like was trial after trial coming my way, to a place of peace and gratitude.

what have we been doing....Feb, I was hospitalized at Metro with an internal bleed losing 4 units of blood as a result of my disease. That month we also sold our first home and had to be out by the end of the month. March we moved into a rental home in hudsonville. April 11,8 days spent at henry ford in detroit having vascular bypass surgery in attempts to "fix" me. May was spent recovering, crying, pain and suffering, wondering if I would ever feel like Lisa again, praying for the Lord to give me the strength to make it. June, we were led to our new home right by our old one!!! We found a home on 3 acres in the city and when we walked in, we both fell in love and felt like it was the one for us, for our family to stay for a long long time, Dave Ramsey approved! :) July 1 moving day again. We managed to sneak one week of camping in there at holland but we haven't done much due to the new home and enough on our plate. I also managed to break my finger and land back in the hospital due to complications from the break and being on blood thinners.( all b/c of a little broken finger!!!) My wedding ring had to be sawed off and my nail was drilled to relieve pressure from all the blood contained in it. What else can I do to myself? hhhhmmmmmmm....We have been BUSY!!!!!!!!!

Finally I can say we feel like we can take a breathe of relief. Every box has been unloaded, shelves are filled, we all have our own bedrooms again, room to run, ride dirtbikes, sitting in the middle of Gods beautiful nature. We even have had a visit from turkeys, deer, and other snakes and bugs. The kids no longer say they want to go home to the "farm house" and call our house, home. Steve and I will sit up late at night sitting on our couch watching tv looking around and we still can't believe it is our home. It is beautiful! I feel sooooo blessed. Its our greatest dream come true. Its a home just right for the Jongsma's. It doesn't scream "hey look at me, look how BIG I am" and if you didn't know where it was, you would never know it existed. No neighbors to have to "keep up with the jones' all looking at what you got and under constant "eye" as they say. That is great with me! New furniture, new house, lots of room, acreage, room for dads future barn/man cave, dirtbike trails! Its so peaceful and quiet, the scenery is beautiful. It has plenty of work needed: new landscaping, driveway, future hot tub :), rooms need to be painted, trampoline, maybe even a pool someday but that will all come in time, can't have everything! For now, I am just going to spend the last month of summer RELAXING! spending some quality time focusing on my little blessings.

This year I have felt like the worse mom I could ever be. I have been gone, hospitalized, recovering, moving, packing, unpacking, trying to get stuff "done" and I feel like I have totally ignored the kids. Its hard to do it all. I LOVE my kids! They are the greatest blessing ever and this year has been soooo crazy. I know alot of it isn't my fault, but sometimes you just can't help but wonder, if your a bad parent. "just a minute, I can't right now, moms too busy, b/c we can't, b/c we have to get this stuff done so we can live, don't jump on mom, watch out for moms stomach, watch out for moms finger, I'm tired, b/c mom is sick, just b/c mom said so" all words that my kids are probably so sick of hearing this year!!!! Someday I hope they can look back and realize that I did everything I could all for them! I try my best, I know I will fail, but with God, I pray that someday they realize how lucky they were to have mom alive to love them.

All in all a very blessed year in so many ways. The Lord has given me strength I never knew I had. When I smashed my finger some said "do you ever feel like Job?" :) YES!!! I don't know why, but the Lord likes to keep sending trials my way and sometimes He just doesn't seem to want to let up. I have been reading alot about trials, suffering and Gods providence. I feel Him speak to me alot lately, and then I question, what does He want from me? What is HIS purpose for my life? I'm not sure. I could do many things. I love my job and maybe He wants me to learn to witness to my patients b/c I too have been there. Every day that I go to work I pray that the Lord would use me, show His love to those that need it. Smile when someone needs a smile, listen when they want someone to listen, sympathize. Unless you have been there you really don't understand. Just like losing a loved one, spouse, child, injury that affects your whole life, cancer...You cannot understand how it feels unless you have been there and it is a journey I do not wish upon anyone. But I am here. I am alive. I am healed (I think). I have a stronger and alive faith that I never had before. Maybe thats all He wanted. To wake Lisa up. to make me live each day as if it were my last. It has all changed my life FOREVER!!! In soooooooo many good ways, He has blessed me. Thank you Lord. Thank you for my family, my husband, my beautiful children, our new home....For showing me grace when I am so undeserving of it all. I love the Lord with all my heart and I know He is real and alive within me and what a feeling that is!!! I owe all that I am and have to Him.