Well, for those of you that think I can't stay still or NOT do anything, I am here today to tell you that yes, at first I overdid it, but I have learned my lesson and it is NOT worth it so I can honestly tell you that for one week I left my house 2 times!!! Twice! Both for Dr. appointments. I had to go in b/c I got a bladder and kidney infection and started spiking a temperature. Over all, I have to say that I am doing pretty good. I sleep and sleep, I have NEVER watched so much tv in my entire life and not Mickey mouse clubhouse either! Shows that mom actually has never seen before, home makeover shows, TLC.
The kids have been fantastic. I didn't go to my parents like planned and came straight home after surgery and I am so glad. Steve has been wonderful, taking care of me, tucking me in, getting me tea, adjusting my pillows, making sure I take my pills, and yes, even giving me my shots in my butt. True love :) I love being with my family even though I can't run around, play, and do all the things I would love to, I can see them, talk to them and that makes my spirits better. I go around the house pointing to things, they pick them up and put them where they are supposed to go, Karlie puts my socks on, underwear, they stand on a chair when mom needs a hug and kiss, Karlie tucks me in on the couch, helps lift me up, puts band aids on me, and even gets me water. One night we were eating at the table and I didn't feel good or like eating and Luke looks at me "MOM, you HAVE to eat your food!" I state I am not hungry (like he always does), and he says "But it will make your stomach feel better mom!!!" Sooo cute. They have all been wonderful. Steve has been staying home from work to take care of me, and I cannot tell you how much stronger we have become through this whole experience from day one, he has been at my side, really has shown me that he really does love me.
EVEN our dog Remi. She sleeps on the couch with me every single night, and every time I go to the bathroom in the night, she walks me there, lays down on a towel at my feet and when I am done, walks me back to the couch and we go back to sleep. EVERY TIME!!! She has never really been a momma's girl, but I swear she knows and its like she is taking care of me too!
A couple set backs, kidney, bladder infection, cold sores, night sweats, and I was putting my socks on and heard a pop. I snapped some of my sutures in the layers underneath and now have a bulge coming into my incision. Went to Dr. to have checked, he said its ok right now as long as I don't pop too many b/c then my intestines will come into that hole and cause more problems.
They also pumped me so full of stool softeners and laxatives b/c its been over 10 days since I had gone. Pain meds make it worse, NOT good. But don't worry, my prayers got answered! :)
My first day home alone, I took Remi out to go pee, looked down and she was gone! She NEVER does this. Screaming for her, whistling, looking all over and by this point crying b/c I am in pain yelling for the dumb dog. Called Steve crying b/c Remi ran away and I can't find her, can't walk to go find her, so he said he will come home. 5 min. later some grandpa called and asked if I was looking for a little dog named Remi. He found her on the side of the road down a ways and he would bring her home. He pulls in and there I stand crying, I was so mad, trying to do this alone on my own!!!
Then Saturday woke to a nightmare of someone ripping my stomach apart and crawling down the side of the road in soooo much pain (dream) then really wake up, look down and there is blood all over my shirt. I must have scratched myself and ripped open my incision, it STILL won't stop leaking blood, trying to get ahold of Dr. to find out what to do. It was terrible, scary.
So after today I enter week 3. I am weaning off drugs so thats a good sign. Down to less than 1/2 of what I was when I left. Still in pain but it has to end someday!!! All I keep thinking about is that I should be dead, What is the Lord calling me to do and why did He give me another chance. I should have been the one crossing that 5k finish line and falling over dead at 30 years old....But I wasn't. I owe my life, all that I have, to the Lord. Times of crisis has turned me onto a new path, one directed by Him. I know that He will use me, yes, maybe even to write a book someday, I want to tell others about His amazing grace and love, if we would just open up our eyes to HIS truth, not the worldly values....We all have a piece missing in our lives, a void, one created BY HIM, that only He can fill and I am sooo glad that I have found my missing "peace".
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