The life of.................. the Jongsma's

So I have reached a breaking point. Mentally. My mom told me today that I need prozac. Thanks mom. I would like to see how other people would feel after a month of injections 2xs a day, beta blockers that make me feel like crap, give me diahrea, headaches, dr.'s appointments every week, blood work every week, tests, not eating for days for your tests.....Yes, I will admit I am crabby.

I am sick of it. Yesterday I went to see my hematologist and was very excited to see what he had to say. Steve took time off work and the Dr. walks in and says, "so, you were here a year ago, what can I help you with?" Start telling him why I was there a year ago, that no one would listen to me, blood levels dropped, I became anemic, then hospitalized...."oh, I don't have any record of any of that, I guess a lot has changed, how have you been feeling?" Luckily I came with my OWN records, my OWN reports...and could show him. "oh, you have liver disease." No I do not. I had a biopsy done that confirmed no disease or failure, my liver is functioning fine. "well do you know what labs were done on you? Did they look for this strain, this....?" (how the heck am I supposed to know!!!!!)"Well, lets see what U of M says, do some blood work and I will talk to you on the phone next week." Out the door I went.

My husband knew I wanted to kill the man and quite frankly wanted to kill him himself. I was pissed. He knew nothing about me.

I can understand why my patients are frustrated with healthcare at times....This whole experience is teaching me sooooooo much. The Lord has it all happen for a reason, am I can promise you this, I will be so much stronger, more sympathetic, loving, to my patients b/c I can relate!

Today I can only eat jello and I am trying to get my mind off food. Tomorrow I swallow a camera, and can't eat all day, Yippe!:) Lord, please hold my hand today, I need you. Amen.